Truth will set you free.

TRUTH will set you free.

He said, She said. Seems a part of the truth in each partner is hidden and not heard mainly from poor listening. We can slow down the conversation to better hear the message under intense emotions. Couples are disarmed and encouraged when they realize the vulnerability under assumed selfishness or malevolence.

We can help adjust the way you communicate to restore love and intimacy.

Get Back to the Intimacy...secret to resolving conflict.

The common human approach to getting your needs met is instant defensiveness...to be understood with more words and maybe intensity. Not working for you?

Try slowing down the conversation to simply reflect back what the other simply "said." This is not agreement, but an attempt to show respect for their thoughts and feelings before you return the arrow. Validating their message before giving your response de-escalates anger and helps the other to better listen to your response.

This back and forth requires some discpline to validate before defending your position and is an attempt at sacrificial love. Love is others-centered, and they will see you are trying to honor feelings and listen with empathy. Without empathy listening by either party, a train wreck results, egos are wounded, and the battle for self-preservation sabotages the peace you want.

Sacrificial love leads to resolution and forgiveness. Restoring the intimacy begins with your modeling validation...easy to say and hard to do, but worth the discipline.

Learn LUV-Talk for Couples

To exchange conflict for peace, change your conversation pattern. Hold off on your defensive answer until you validate, or acknowledge, what your partner simply said.

This is not agreement, but shows respect that you heard the message and feelings..

Then, give your response and watch your partner be more ready emotionally to listen to your thoughts and feelings. You need to be validated in return, and if you were heard incorrectly, repeat your message until it is understood.

This triggers empathy in both partners as you learn to listen to feelings under the facts.

LISTEN - UNDERSTAND - VALIDATE!